The Great Boat Adventure; A Thrilling Conclusion.

And so it came to happen that the great day of hot dogs “rolled” around and still permission had not been granted to allow for the existence of a boat.

On the eve of Hot Dog Day weekend the great conclusion to our great tale came to be, but before that, I present to you the briefest (non incriminating) summary of The Great Boat Adventure that money can buy.

It came to happen that there was a boat. The bout was rigged out with equipment for steering and braking. The boat was taken to a safety test. Testing staff (who were unprofessional and unhelpful) fail said boat without proper inspection or chance to run said prescribed safety “Challenge”. Boat team argued about occurrence at safety test.

Now that we are caught up on the details up to our last conversation (so to speak), I present to you, THE GREAT BOAT CONCLUSION and debriefing.

After sending an email to the Dean of Engineering the Great Boat Team ventured off to have a conversation with the faculty advisor of the Pine Hill Derby. At this meeting the Faculty member (whose name is being left out as to avoid any further complications) behaved extremely unprofessional, leaving the Boat Team feeling a bit off put about the entire situation. During this conversation however, the boat team requested that they be able to display their creation safely in a secure and agreed upon location during the event, and were told that the faculty member would need to get back to them on that matter. After several days without hearing from this faculty member a selection of Boat Team Members approached the faculty member to ask if a decision had been made. The faculty member responded that the boat could not be displayed because if a student where to see it they would immediately ride it down the hill, injuring (Or killing) everyone!

Two days after their last conversation with the Faculty Member one of the Boat Team Members stepped outside to take a call and like in every sitcom ever made, he saw the boat drive by on the back of a flatbed tow truck.

It is the consensus of the first ever Alfred University Boat Team that the events that ensued where unavoidable and that the University had confiscated their boat in order to “reverse engineer it” as to be able to mass produce boats with the ability to be driven on land and in see.

As a final note for the record, because throughout the appeal process The Boat Team was never given the opportunity to face their accuser and explain their intentions, I present to you, The loyal reader, The intentions of THE GREAT BOAT ADVENTURE!

First and foremost it is our intention to have fun while remaining safe and enhancing our learning experience. We intended to create a project that remain wholly within the boundaries set forth by the assignment, while exposing possible places where corrections may need to be made in order to keep others safe in the future. We intended to safely assemble our vehicle in a way that it could be carefully operated without the risk of injury to ourselves or others. we intended to drive our boat down pine hill only with the blessing of Alfred University Staff and Administration and at a speed so slow that a tortoise could beat us down. And we intended to create a project, that through it sheer absurdity, could bring a smile to the face of anyone that encountered it.

Thank you to everyone who was able to help us to get to where we are today, and sorry none of you where ever able to see it “race”

(In order of appearance)

Lady at pep boys who told us they do not sell wiring harnesses for my car, and that trailer world might

Man at trailer world who wired up my car

Man in rochester who sold us a boat

Man at boneyard who sold us parts for our boat, many many times.

Our friends at Lowes who sold us safety equipment to protect our brains

Tractor Supply Co. who supplied us with steel.

The Fab Shop (an art thing) that allowed us to use their eqipment when the STEP Lab (an engineering thing) would not.

Tinkertown Hardware that sold us cables to actuate our breaks.

everyone who said we could do it, and “Call me befor you do it, I would love to see a boat go down a hill”

To all those discouraged by their universities stealing their boats, I offer to you this advice.

Boat are cheap, get another, do it again, they have got to give up some day.


One thought on “The Great Boat Adventure; A Thrilling Conclusion.

  1. Beth says:

    When do we get to see the boat??? And tell the University not to bother with their diabolical plot; “Ride the Ducks” already does it!


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